It’s really funny, that we are living in a nation where on
one hand, Goddesses are being worshiped and, on the other hand, every morning
we are awakening to news such as, a baby girl been thrown in a dustbin, a woman
being raped or, a minor girl as such as a 5 year old is being sexually abused
in some or the other part of our country.
Now whose fault is this? Is this the girls fault for wearing
an expropriate dress, or walking alone on the road at an inappropriate time?
Or, is there any fault in the upbringing of their children by the parents? Or,
is there any problem with the mindset and the way that the society looks at
things? I’m not trying to adjudicate when I say It’s time we teach our sons but as of now that’s what we are in
need of.
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source - Shepard Fairey
N.A.R.I- NATION AGAINST RAPE AND IN HUMANITY |
Now, some state the reason as, the girl was walking on the
road at an inappropriate time. Wait a minute….now who are these people to
decide what time is appropriate and what time is inappropriate for women to
walk all alone on a road. Do we really have any appropriate time? Because, we
are having cases being reported all round the clock. A great person once said
that true independence is only attained, when a woman can walk all alone on the
road at night without any fear. I still don’t think it’s possible anywhere in
the near future, albeit it’s been 70 years that we have attained independence.
Some others state the reason as the girl was not wearing an
expropriate dress or she was wearing a short dress, which means she was
actually asking for it. Really? Do we have an expropriate dress? Because girls
and women are being molested even when they are in sarees, chudidhars and even
in paranjas. Saree is being worn in India from hundreds of years, now if even
this has become an expropriate dress, then I don’t know what the appropriate
dress is. The saddening part is some people take pride in doing these abysmal
acts and the worst part is we have advocates and lawyers in our country who are
taking their side and defending these people. Anyone who has watched INDIAS DAUGHTER documentary would find
this an amenable point.
Now, whose fault is this? Of course the person doing the
crime is solely responsible for it. But, at the same time even we as a society
are an accomplice in that heinous crime because, most of the times albeit we
know that a women is being sexually harassed or is undergoing some domestic violence in our
neighborhood we don’t take any action against it. Leave alone action, we don’t
even give a thought about it.
Or, maybe
we do think………that it’s none of our business.
Even the victim has a
role to play in it because at times, even the girl’s least interested in
reporting this. But maybe somewhere even she’s right on her part, because she’s
scared…. Scared of being judged…judged by her peers, judged by the society and
at times even worse, judged by her
parents.
The parents way of upbringing children in India is the best.
No issues with that. We are taught to respect our parents, respect our elders
and respect our teachers. But, respect your sister? Respect your mom? Are we
taught this?
Parents admonish girls from doing certain things, playing
certain games. Why? They are asked to sit in a proper posture, behave like this,
shouldn’t be roaming around at nights. Why? Because they are scared that
something wrong can happen with their daughters, sisters, wives or friends.
This is a fact and one has to accede this. Sons are never taught to behave in a
certain manner, never are warned to come back home before 6, never stopped from
wearing certain kinds
of dresses, why?
Yes, sons are taught one thing for sure, don’t cry like a girl.
Okay, is there a way in which he can cry like a boy? Is it only girls who cry? Isn’t
crying human nature?
The only way we can change this is, instead of teaching our
daughters and abstaining them from doing certain things, its better if we can start
teaching our sons certain things. Most importantly teach them how to respect
women, how to not show their power on them, how not to force themselves on them,
not to judge a girls or a womens character on the type of dress she’s wearing. Teach
them that when a girl says NO, it
means NO, nothing else apart from that.
We have some great initiatives taken up such as, MARD (Men Against Rape and Discrimination)
a campaign launched by Farhan Akhtar to drive home the message that women
should be respected. We also have she
teams and she cabs in some
states of our country. It’s really good that we have something like this and
they are actually doing an incredible job but how disgraceful and disheartening
it is that we are actually in need of something like this.
Women are someone who are more of giving and less of
expecting. They are not items to be checked. They are actually the ones who are
adorning this world. Women are wonderful creatures, give them love and respect
and they will make this world much more beautiful and a better place to live.
Many of us may be thinking that our women are safe but the
actual point is we are not allowing them to go alone in the nights. Not allowing
girls to go around at nights is not what women safety means.
Some people may
also be thinking that all this is being written with a girls mindset or in a
womans perspective. One need not be an activist or a feminist to write
something like this all that one needs is respect towards women and fellow
human beings.