It’s Time We Start Teaching Our Sons

It’s really funny, that we are living in a nation where on one hand, Goddesses are being worshiped and, on the other hand, every morning we are awakening to news such as, a baby girl been thrown in a dustbin, a woman being raped or, a minor girl as such as a 5 year old is being sexually abused in some or the other part of our country.

Now whose fault is this? Is this the girls fault for wearing an expropriate dress, or walking alone on the road at an inappropriate time? Or, is there any fault in the upbringing of their children by the parents? Or, is there any problem with the mindset and the way that the society looks at things? I’m not trying to adjudicate when I say It’s time we teach our sons but as of now that’s what we are in need of.

source - Shepard Fairey

N.A.R.I- NATION AGAINST RAPE AND IN HUMANITY

Now, some state the reason as, the girl was walking on the road at an inappropriate time. Wait a minute….now who are these people to decide what time is appropriate and what time is inappropriate for women to walk all alone on a road. Do we really have any appropriate time? Because, we are having cases being reported all round the clock. A great person once said that true independence is only attained, when a woman can walk all alone on the road at night without any fear. I still don’t think it’s possible anywhere in the near future, albeit it’s been 70 years that we have attained independence.

Some others state the reason as the girl was not wearing an expropriate dress or she was wearing a short dress, which means she was actually asking for it. Really? Do we have an expropriate dress? Because girls and women are being molested even when they are in sarees, chudidhars and even in paranjas. Saree is being worn in India from hundreds of years, now if even this has become an expropriate dress, then I don’t know what the appropriate dress is. The saddening part is some people take pride in doing these abysmal acts and the worst part is we have advocates and lawyers in our country who are taking their side and defending these people. Anyone who has watched INDIAS DAUGHTER documentary would find this an amenable point.

Now, whose fault is this? Of course the person doing the crime is solely responsible for it. But, at the same time even we as a society are an accomplice in that heinous crime because, most of the times albeit we know that a women is being sexually harassed  or is undergoing some domestic violence in our neighborhood we don’t take any action against it. Leave alone action, we don’t even give a thought about it. Or, maybe we do think………that it’s none of our business.

 Even the victim has a role to play in it because at times, even the girl’s least interested in reporting this. But maybe somewhere even she’s right on her part, because she’s scared…. Scared of being judged…judged by her peers, judged by the society and at times even worse, judged by her  parents.

The parents way of upbringing children in India is the best. No issues with that. We are taught to respect our parents, respect our elders and respect our teachers. But, respect your sister? Respect your mom? Are we taught this? 

Parents admonish girls from doing certain things, playing certain games. Why? They are asked to sit in a proper posture, behave like this, shouldn’t be roaming around at nights. Why? Because they are scared that something wrong can happen with their daughters, sisters, wives or friends. This is a fact and one has to accede this. Sons are never taught to behave in a certain manner, never are warned to come back home before 6, never stopped from wearing certain kinds 

of dresses, why?

Yes, sons are taught one thing for sure, don’t cry like a girl. Okay, is there a way in which he can cry like a boy? Is it only girls who cry? Isn’t crying human nature?

The only way we can change this is, instead of teaching our daughters and abstaining them from doing certain things, its better if we can start teaching our sons certain things. Most importantly teach them how to respect women, how to not show their power on them, how not to force themselves on them, not to judge a girls or a womens character on the type of dress she’s wearing. Teach them that when a girl says NO, it means NO, nothing else apart from that.

We have some great initiatives taken up such as, MARD (Men Against Rape and Discrimination) a campaign launched by Farhan Akhtar to drive home the message that women should be respected. We also have she teams and she cabs in some states of our country. It’s really good that we have something like this and they are actually doing an incredible job but how disgraceful and disheartening it is that we are actually in need of something like this.

Women are someone who are more of giving and less of expecting. They are not items to be checked. They are actually the ones who are adorning this world. Women are wonderful creatures, give them love and respect and they will make this world much more beautiful and a better place to live.

Many of us may be thinking that our women are safe but the actual point is we are not allowing them to go alone in the nights. Not allowing girls to go around at nights is not what women safety means.

Some people may also be thinking that all this is being written with a girls mindset or in a womans perspective. One need not be an activist or a feminist to write something like this all that one needs is respect towards women and fellow human beings.