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Saturday, 23 September 2017

Strangers Whom We Know...But Their Stories We dont

For them…
Their day starts from dusk to dawn.
They always wonder…
Is this the only reason for them to be born?

They stay so very close to us,
But are yet so far…
They are very similar to us,
But are yet so very different.

They come out on to the roads,
With makeup so wild…
Skirts so short…
And boots so black…
Just to be loved after the twilight,
And soon be unloved…
As soon as the sun shines so very bright.

Every day their bodies are scrubbed,
But to make a living…
All those…have to be snubbed.

Every night they wait,
Every day they pray…
If some knight in a shining armor,
Would come and take them away.

The knights come everyday…
Making false promises and giving false hopes,
Putting them in a haze,
Asking the princesses to stay…
In the palace for some more days.

I never knew love could even be sold…
Until I met these women so bold.

There are daughters…
 Playing the roles of sons.
On their shoulders…
Is a responsibility of tons.

There are mothers…
 Hoping if she could save up some cents.
Trying to give her child,
 All the small happiness.

They are strangers, whom we all know…
But act and claim as unknown.
To help them we can’t go an extra mile…
But all that we can do is give a wide smile.

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

How Good It Would Be If I Could Relive Those Old Days

Never knew fate had a problem with me,
Until it told you
Your brother would be he,
Scared by this I pleaded not to go,
But there I was in your hands
As soon as it gave me a blow.

Looking into your eyes,
I did realize,
There was some mischief cooking
In your brain of a grape size.

Time flew by, flew very fast
You started going school,
 And I was in my cradle,
Listening to the music of Liverpool.
Seeing all my pampering
I was sure you were burning.
And then you give a wicked smile,
And the tables turn in a while.

My day wasn’t complete without fighting with you,
But just wanted to say I still love you.
With all those fights I got to know one thing,
Your nails are the deadliest…painful than a bee-sting.

Saying that I still don’t understand
 Were always those half cooked dosas…. preplanned?
At times you cook better than Mom
I just admitted to that….oh com-on.

Soon my world was shattered,
The very news of you leaving left me battered.
It was only after so many years,
That I could find myself in tears.

All my emotions were taken for a toss,
Cause you went away leaving me at a cross.

Seeing your pictures at a gaze,
I’m sitting here with my mind in a haze.
How good it would be,
If I could relive those good old days.

Monday, 27 March 2017

It’s Time We Start Teaching Our Sons

It’s really funny, that we are living in a nation where on one hand, Goddesses are being worshiped and, on the other hand, every morning we are awakening to news such as, a baby girl been thrown in a dustbin, a woman being raped or, a minor girl as such as a 5 year old is being sexually abused in some or the other part of our country.

Now whose fault is this? Is this the girls fault for wearing an expropriate dress, or walking alone on the road at an inappropriate time? Or, is there any fault in the upbringing of their children by the parents? Or, is there any problem with the mindset and the way that the society looks at things? I’m not trying to adjudicate when I say It’s time we teach our sons but as of now that’s what we are in need of.

source - Shepard Fairey

Now, some state the reason as, the girl was walking on the road at an inappropriate time. Wait a minute….now who are these people to decide what time is appropriate and what time is inappropriate for women to walk all alone on a road. Do we really have any appropriate time? Because, we are having cases being reported all round the clock. A great person once said that true independence is only attained, when a woman can walk all alone on the road at night without any fear. I still don’t think it’s possible anywhere in the near future, albeit it’s been 70 years that we have attained independence.

Some others state the reason as the girl was not wearing an expropriate dress or she was wearing a short dress, which means she was actually asking for it. Really? Do we have an expropriate dress? Because girls and women are being molested even when they are in sarees, chudidhars and even in paranjas. Saree is being worn in India from hundreds of years, now if even this has become an expropriate dress, then I don’t know what the appropriate dress is. The saddening part is some people take pride in doing these abysmal acts and the worst part is we have advocates and lawyers in our country who are taking their side and defending these people. Anyone who has watched INDIAS DAUGHTER documentary would find this an amenable point.

Now, whose fault is this? Of course the person doing the crime is solely responsible for it. But, at the same time even we as a society are an accomplice in that heinous crime because, most of the times albeit we know that a women is being sexually harassed  or is undergoing some domestic violence in our neighborhood we don’t take any action against it. Leave alone action, we don’t even give a thought about it. Or, maybe we do think………that it’s none of our business.

 Even the victim has a role to play in it because at times, even the girl’s least interested in reporting this. But maybe somewhere even she’s right on her part, because she’s scared…. Scared of being judged…judged by her peers, judged by the society and at times even worse, judged by her  parents.

The parents way of upbringing children in India is the best. No issues with that. We are taught to respect our parents, respect our elders and respect our teachers. But, respect your sister? Respect your mom? Are we taught this? 

Parents admonish girls from doing certain things, playing certain games. Why? They are asked to sit in a proper posture, behave like this, shouldn’t be roaming around at nights. Why? Because they are scared that something wrong can happen with their daughters, sisters, wives or friends. This is a fact and one has to accede this. Sons are never taught to behave in a certain manner, never are warned to come back home before 6, never stopped from wearing certain kinds 
of dresses, why?

Yes, sons are taught one thing for sure, don’t cry like a girl. Okay, is there a way in which he can cry like a boy? Is it only girls who cry? Isn’t crying human nature?

The only way we can change this is, instead of teaching our daughters and abstaining them from doing certain things, its better if we can start teaching our sons certain things. Most importantly teach them how to respect women, how to not show their power on them, how not to force themselves on them, not to judge a girls or a womens character on the type of dress she’s wearing. Teach them that when a girl says NO, it means NO, nothing else apart from that.

We have some great initiatives taken up such as, MARD (Men Against Rape and Discrimination) a campaign launched by Farhan Akhtar to drive home the message that women should be respected. We also have she teams and she cabs in some states of our country. It’s really good that we have something like this and they are actually doing an incredible job but how disgraceful and disheartening it is that we are actually in need of something like this.

Women are someone who are more of giving and less of expecting. They are not items to be checked. They are actually the ones who are adorning this world. Women are wonderful creatures, give them love and respect and they will make this world much more beautiful and a better place to live.
Many of us may be thinking that our women are safe but the actual point is we are not allowing them to go alone in the nights. Not allowing girls to go around at nights is not what women safety means.

Some people may also be thinking that all this is being written with a girls mindset or in a womans perspective. One need not be an activist or a feminist to write something like this all that one needs is respect towards women and fellow human beings.

Monday, 20 March 2017

It’s like a Pressure Cooker in Here

Never thought I would be writing something like this, thought I could abstain myself but here it is. The amount of peer pressure that students go through in making their career choices in India is really very high. The pressure here is not because that the student is unable to make a choice but, the pressure is because of the fact that the parent is least interested in what his child wants to do and at last throws him into the stream of what the parent wants his child to do and many would accede with me on this. At least, this is better as the student knows the actual face of his parent but there are parents who act as if they are interested in knowing what their child wants to do, and then they play a card which makes the student actually believe that he has made a wrong choice and willingly or unwillingly goes into the stream selected by his parents.

Now this is one side of a coin, where the student goes through this pressure unwillingly, abhors the career choice made by his parents or at times even abominates his parents in the journey and successfully comes out as an engineer or a doctor and leads a life which is planned again by his parents which is most likely as… 22 tak padhai, 25 pe naukri, 26 pe chokri, 30 pe bachche, 60 pe retirement.... Students of this kind grudgingly enter the stream and in the end successfully become unsuccessful engineers.

 We live in a country where the number of students taking up engineering is less compared to the number of seats available…..yes you read it right… I  have said that in an acidulous manner, and this has already lead us to a situation where the number of jobs available are very less compared to the number of unsuccessful engineers we are producing every year. Had the parents been a little more sensible in their choices, and took interest in their childs interests, maybe the whole nations hope wouldn’t have been on a single girl or maybe on three girls to bring back home an Olympic medal , maybe our country wouldn’t have been in  a present situation where every year we hope our country wins at least one Oscar this year, instead we may be wagering on something such as: will the number of Oscars that we are goanna bag this year break the previous record?

Even if someone tries doing something out of the box, we are judged…judged by our parents, judged by our teachers, judged by our cousins, judged by our relatives, judged by our friends, judged by the society. We are under this constant radar of being judged and compared each and every day, each and every minute. Judged by our parents for the choices we make….what would are neighbors/relatives think about our child? Judged on our potential…you seriously think you can make your career in cricket? Judged on our capacity…you study for at least 3 hours a day, if you want to become someone great. Judged on our potency….I don’t think so you can become a politician/leader. Judged on our interests…..seriously, film making? Judged on our capabilities….oh you want to start your own company? What’s your age? You hardly know how the world’s outside. Judged on our looks….you think you can become an actor? I accede to the fact that, at times the choices we make our wrong. But at least listen to what are interests are, instead of directly giving us a big no and that to without a reason. Try listening to us instead of youll deciding….ladka hua tho engineer, ladki hui tho doctor.

The other side of the coin being where the student doesn’t muddle through this pressure and takes extreme steps which results into abominable scenarios. Parents are least interested in what his childs interests are and judge their capabilities and do what they ought to do.  Fools are those people, who judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. It doesn’t mean I am offending someone, I’m neither offending the parents nor the society. It’s just that, the educational system has made us think in a direction where the definition of success today is: becoming an engineer or doctor. I hope this mindset of the society abrogates.

Parents should try to abridge the gap between themselves and their child/ren. Try listening to what your child wants to do in life, and also put forward your thoughts of what you want your child to do. If they think their child has chosen a wrong path, try to giving them a valid reason before you saying a big no. 
Children should also understand that parents will always have your back whatever may be the consequences of your decision. But before this situation arises, you accost your parents with a valid reason. This will make them believe that you have made a decision not just for the sake of making one but it will make them realize that you are actually very serious about it. And, if they are still are not convinced and you still think you’re on  a right path, try speaking to someone elderly or maybe who has already been in that stream over a period of time, before you move into that stream.

 If you are on a right path and have a right guidance, just don’t give a shit about people judging you or about the society.  Just keep walking and slowly, and for surely, the world will walk along with you.